Reality Check

I guess I don't write here as much as I would like to, because writing about this makes it reality.  If I just ignore the issue, and not write about it or talk about it, it hurts less.  Writing that I am standing for my marriage makes this a reality check for me.  I can see so many ways that the Lord is working on my husband's heart.  So many things he says to me, he wavers back and forth.  However, his actions prove another thing.  His actions and his words do not match, and that is where I struggle. 

I have to rely on the Lord in this.  I have to rely on the Lord, and realize that only He can make this work.  Only the Lord will be able to heal all the hurt in me from what my husband has done.  Only the Lord will be able to restore my marriage to make it better than it ever was. 

However, the reality right now is that I am a single mom, and I am standing for my marriage.  Having faith and believing doesn't make it hurt any less, but it does give me the strength to continue through the hurt and pain.